Sorry for not meeting my own expectations of how I should act and be like.

Sorry for spending those long silent times without coming up for a conversation.

Sorry for not always being there when you need me.

Sorry for ignoring all your messages and your calls.

Sorry for not confronting and expressing my problems.

Sorry for not having the energy to move from bed.

Sorry for bailing out last minute.

See, even I am angry with myself. I sometimes do those actions in order to be able to move where physically and emotionally I am trying to survive. I do recognize your facial expression and read your body language and see the disappointment. Trust me, even I am disappointment with myself. It’s just a loop of negative thoughts and actions. At some point I gave up trying to fake it. At some point I gave up on masking it. At some point…

I gave up on caring.